Some days it will seem as if God has left you, and no matter how hard you pray for his signs, all you can rely on are his promises. Sometimes, in the midst of darkness, you must create the light to get you through. It is always from God, and always available, but it’s a personal job to see the flicker. You must believe, even against your desire or judgment, that God is in control. There is a hadith that says Allah’s Apostle (PBUH) said: If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials. (Salih Bukhari, Vol 7, Book 70, 548).
Our lives are full of these trials. And, if we are aware, faithful, and seeking Allah, inchallah there from the blessings will abound. The Quran says: Verily in remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest. (Holy Quran, 13:28) This single message will at times be the flicker you need to go on. I personally find strength in times of despair with remembrance of another quote: Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalms46:10). Sometimes, all you have to move forward is this knowledge of Gods permeance that you hold within. When nothing on the outside seems to reflect what you know on the inside, you must hold tight to this inner knowledge.
This has indeed been my saving; my sanity where I’ve got none left. Sometimes, I tell Allah: I trust you, I believe in you, but right now I’m simply angry. I know you’ll take me through this, but I want you to know I don’t want to go through it.
I’ve never before been in the position I am in today. A place where I am so clueless, so unable to help myself. As I write this, I’ve no inkling what my purpose is. No idea what role I’m supposed to play, what work I’m supposed to accomplish. I keep praying that God will make it clear. And all I have is His promise that He will not leave me.
A dear friend of mine often sends me Today’s Word from JoelOsteen – an email subscription offered by Joel Osteen Ministries. One message, When You’re In the Deep, focused on this passage: Psalm 107:23, “They that go down to the sea and do business in deep waters, they will see the wonders of God.” Joel’s message from this was: If you feel like you are out in the deep today, if you feel like you are overwhelmed, remember, you are in the right place and God is with you. You will see His wonderful deeds in the deep, and you will fulfill the destiny He has in store for you. Today, I feel as if I’m in that deep. And all I know is that my only certainty is reliance on Him to show me the way.
Psalm 23:4 says: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. For someone who has always been self-sufficient, I am indeed in a scary place. But the scripture says I walk through the valley. It never says I stand in it. I may be dragging my feet at times, because I don’t want to be in this particular valley, but I’m holding tight to the rod and staff.
Through my fear, my uncertainty, and my lack of clarity, I do my best to be still, and know that He is God. May we all find this place of stillness and through it receive the abundance of God’s power, presence, and mercy in all things. Ameen.
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